you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
MIDGETS
????
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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