my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
