Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize