I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
