I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The uberlube is also flammable
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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