I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
