I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
