I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
