Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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