Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
