I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
