Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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