Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize