The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The feeling are messing with the penis
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
