you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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