Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
