And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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