connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
