$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize