oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I cut my penus on the lid.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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