you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
