I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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