I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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