I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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