Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
