i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im holly from the hills drunk
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
