she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize