You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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