Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
