You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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