Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
that's an acceptable place to lick
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
