you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
