Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
