I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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