I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
