If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm sobbing to NWA
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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