At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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