Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Randomize
