O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
