I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
