Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
