Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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