i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She needs sedatives and a leash
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
