evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
