Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize