Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
