"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
