Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
