you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize