he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
