you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize