I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
