everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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