Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I party with great urgency now.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
