tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
