'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
