They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
