Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
