So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
