worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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