so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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