SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is wine microwaveable?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
